I LOVE ILLINOIS WEATHER
Go ahead, hate me. I can take it. But I LOVE Illinois weather. I do. I love how it changes constantly. I love how one day you can have your windows open and be wearing shorts and the next day you are turning the heater on and wearing your winter coat. It is one of the greatest parts of living in Illinois. I really don't know why I love the changing weather--but I do. Always have! So there. Illinois--I like your wacky weather so just keep it up!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
I HURT
I have that all over kind of hurt going on. Not physical--emotional/mental. But it feels physical. That's why I haven't been writing. I don't even know how to express myself really. I can't even really give you specific reasons why I hurt. I just do. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of picking myself up and forcing myself to keep moving forward. I'm tired of dealing with everything that keeps coming my way. I'm tired of realizing that I honestly don't have a clue to many of the things that I am facing -- I don't have the answers. And if I'm being really honest, I'm tired of asking God and not receiving an answer. In some ways I feel like a 2 year old who decides to sit down and is not getting up--I want to shake my fist at God and stomp my feet and say "I'm not moving one more step until you explain to me what is going on." I'm tired of faking it. I'm tired of putting on a plastic smile and murmuring the right words. That's what I'm thinking. Not pretty I know, but it's real.
I have that all over kind of hurt going on. Not physical--emotional/mental. But it feels physical. That's why I haven't been writing. I don't even know how to express myself really. I can't even really give you specific reasons why I hurt. I just do. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of picking myself up and forcing myself to keep moving forward. I'm tired of dealing with everything that keeps coming my way. I'm tired of realizing that I honestly don't have a clue to many of the things that I am facing -- I don't have the answers. And if I'm being really honest, I'm tired of asking God and not receiving an answer. In some ways I feel like a 2 year old who decides to sit down and is not getting up--I want to shake my fist at God and stomp my feet and say "I'm not moving one more step until you explain to me what is going on." I'm tired of faking it. I'm tired of putting on a plastic smile and murmuring the right words. That's what I'm thinking. Not pretty I know, but it's real.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
BEST FRIENDS
I have this group of friends. We came together about 5 years ago. There are 5 couples. We are all as different as night and day. It's amazing that we are so close and we love each other so well. We all do life differently, raise our families differently, have different theologies and ideas. But at our heart--we all love Jesus. Desperately, with abandon, we are deeply in love with Jesus.
God brought this grouping of people to my life 5 years ago when I was going through a really hard time. They were a balm on my soul and continue to be. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without these people now. They have become so entangled in my life and I love it that way. Each time I'm with them, I reveal a little more of myself and they reveal a little more of themselves. Each time we're together I fall a little bit deeper in love with them. Each time I'm with them, I realize a little bit more what a unique gift God has given me.
Last night we spent the entire night eating random snack foods and going around the table sharing the struggles we're going through. Praising God for the things He has carried us through. Encouraging one another that "you're not crazy!" and whole lot of teasing each other. We had lots of belly laughs--the kind where your eyes close real tight and it's hard to breathe and your whole body shakes.
As I think back on last night--it was a taste of home, of heaven. Being with my best friends made my problems seem a little smaller, less bleak. It made me realize that I have worth. A lot of healing went on last night, where we poured into each other and allowed ourselves to be poured into. It felt like Jesus.
I love you, my best friends. Thanks for being Jesus to me.
I have this group of friends. We came together about 5 years ago. There are 5 couples. We are all as different as night and day. It's amazing that we are so close and we love each other so well. We all do life differently, raise our families differently, have different theologies and ideas. But at our heart--we all love Jesus. Desperately, with abandon, we are deeply in love with Jesus.
God brought this grouping of people to my life 5 years ago when I was going through a really hard time. They were a balm on my soul and continue to be. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without these people now. They have become so entangled in my life and I love it that way. Each time I'm with them, I reveal a little more of myself and they reveal a little more of themselves. Each time we're together I fall a little bit deeper in love with them. Each time I'm with them, I realize a little bit more what a unique gift God has given me.
Last night we spent the entire night eating random snack foods and going around the table sharing the struggles we're going through. Praising God for the things He has carried us through. Encouraging one another that "you're not crazy!" and whole lot of teasing each other. We had lots of belly laughs--the kind where your eyes close real tight and it's hard to breathe and your whole body shakes.
As I think back on last night--it was a taste of home, of heaven. Being with my best friends made my problems seem a little smaller, less bleak. It made me realize that I have worth. A lot of healing went on last night, where we poured into each other and allowed ourselves to be poured into. It felt like Jesus.
I love you, my best friends. Thanks for being Jesus to me.
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