Perspective
This world is not about me and my experiences. This world is about God and His kingdom. Lord help me to keep life in perspective.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Wish I Knew...
How can you so intensely care about people you don't know? Why do I have such a burden for faces that I have yet to meet? Why has God placed this burden on my heart, but has yet to show me what to do with what I feel?
Reading blogs about others working in Haiti, selling Haitian jewelry for people I don't know, and in general hearing the word "Haiti" pop up several times of day--all cause my heart to ache. Part of me wants to just shut the door and walk away. But God won't let me.
So I wait. Impatiently today. Frustrated. Heart heavy. Mind confused.
How can you so intensely care about people you don't know? Why do I have such a burden for faces that I have yet to meet? Why has God placed this burden on my heart, but has yet to show me what to do with what I feel?
Reading blogs about others working in Haiti, selling Haitian jewelry for people I don't know, and in general hearing the word "Haiti" pop up several times of day--all cause my heart to ache. Part of me wants to just shut the door and walk away. But God won't let me.
So I wait. Impatiently today. Frustrated. Heart heavy. Mind confused.
Monday, May 02, 2011
THE SECRET IS OUT
I don't have it all together. There it is. The secret has been revealed. I don't have it all together and it drives me CRAZY! I want to know everything I need to know. I want to know how to handle each situation the right way. I want to be able to guide my kids without second guessing myself and wondering if I have given them the best advice/discipline/guidance/reprimand in the best possible way.
When my kids were small, it was easy to fake it. They definitely didn't know that I didn't know what I was doing. They just trusted me and went with it. I also had the luxury of knowing that they weren't going to remember much about their life before age 12 or so. (at least that's what I told myself) I have 2 teenagers and one 12 year old--I can't hide anymore. I can't fake it. They know it. And the stakes are so much higher it feels.
I find myself praying much more fervently now than I did before. "God make me enough. Make me the mom they need me to be. And please, please, PLEASE protect them, reveal Yourself to them. Draw them to You."
Perhaps I should have been doing more of that all along. I'm a slow learner.
I don't have it all together. There it is. The secret has been revealed. I don't have it all together and it drives me CRAZY! I want to know everything I need to know. I want to know how to handle each situation the right way. I want to be able to guide my kids without second guessing myself and wondering if I have given them the best advice/discipline/guidance/reprimand in the best possible way.
When my kids were small, it was easy to fake it. They definitely didn't know that I didn't know what I was doing. They just trusted me and went with it. I also had the luxury of knowing that they weren't going to remember much about their life before age 12 or so. (at least that's what I told myself) I have 2 teenagers and one 12 year old--I can't hide anymore. I can't fake it. They know it. And the stakes are so much higher it feels.
I find myself praying much more fervently now than I did before. "God make me enough. Make me the mom they need me to be. And please, please, PLEASE protect them, reveal Yourself to them. Draw them to You."
Perhaps I should have been doing more of that all along. I'm a slow learner.
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