2018.... almost over--how'd I do?

Sometimes you finish your list, and sometimes you don't.

So my previous post, from the very first day of the year, had a list of things I'd like to do this year.  I thought I'd check in to see how I did.

1.  Read 24 books. More specifically I would like to read 2 books a month.  I usually go through spurts of reading where I read several books within a few weeks and then go two months without reading anything.  By the end of 2018 I would like to have finished 2 books a month and read at a steady pace.  I have a running list at Goodreads so that I can easily choose something of interest.

UPDATE:  So I've read 21 books so far with 2 that I'm currently reading and I still have a month to go--so I feel pretty good about this one.  I think February is the only month I didn't read a book--but that's ok as I was crazy busy doing the play Steel Magnolias which was SO FUN.  So I will let that one slide!

2. Spend more time with friends. This idea is rather vague I know, but I struggle to get together with friends on a regular basis.  So my idea is to put this at the forefront of my mind this year and be intentional about coming up with ideas and calling people and getting together.  Last year on my Idea list (I have done this for awhile--just haven't posted it publicly) was to say "yes" whenever I got invited to hang out with someone.  That worked out well to touch base with people and I know it meant a lot to me when someone would go out of their way to say "hey let's spend time together".  So this year I want to do more inviting.

UPDATE:  Hmmm....it was a vague idea.  So did I actually spend "more" time with friends?  Not sure.  I did start a Book Club.  Another friend asked me to start a bible study with her, so that was created.  I could do better here I think and I need to get more specific on this one!  

3.  Host at least 4 Game Nights.  I love to play games!  It's so much fun and an easy way to spend time with people.  So my idea is to host at least 4 Game Nights, get some snacks and enjoy some time with other people.

UPDATE:  Nope, didn't make this one!  I only hosted one Girls' Night Game Night--that was SUPER fun.  And we'll have our yearly New Year's Eve Game Night--so I fell 2 short on this one!  

4.   Host 4 dinner parties.  Nothing fancy.  But just have a few people over for dinner, enjoy a meal together and each other's company.

UPDATE:  Well, this one didn't exactly happen.  It sort of happened though not the way I had meant it when I wrote this one down!  We did have people over for dinner--our bible study has dinner together when we meet!  :)  But I did not intentionally have Dinner Parties.  

5.  Try 12 new recipes.

UPDATE:  I had forgotten about this one.  I know that I tried at least 8 new recipes.  I was looking for new recipes for chicken breasts and ended up with several marinades that I did up and put in the freezer.  Not sure I got to 12 though--although I do have one month to go!!

6.  Happiness Jar.  A friend on facebook posted about a Happiness Jar where everyday for a year you write down one good thing that happened and put it in the jar.  At the end of the year you read all the good things that happened.  I LOVE the idea.  So it's an idea that is happening.

UPDATE:  Loved the idea, but my follow through...oops.  So I think I did pretty well until March and then it kind of fell apart.  I'm not even sure where the jar is right now.... I will have to go look for it!!

7.  Blog at least 12 posts.  Ahhh... I love reading other people's blogs.  I love sharing ideas.  I love writing.  However, I really don't love criticism, nor do I love when I screw up and say something stupid--and then when it's written down, well it's rough.   But I do want to share more of myself with the world at large and also to gain insight from the feedback of others--so I will start with the idea of blogging at least once a month about something.

UPDATE:  Bwahahahaha....obviously this didn't happen.  

8.  Go to the Beach.  Toes in the sand.  A book.  The sound of the water.  I don't know what beach or when or with whom.  But at least a day at the beach this year.

UPDATE:  Nope, didn't happen.  And I'm sad about this one :(  There's always next year right?  

9.  Spend less time online and watching TV/movies.  Alas I love a good story.  I also can be incredibly lazy with my free time.  Instead of watching other people's stories, I want to be an active participant in my own story.

UPDATE:  Sometimes you just have to realize who you are.  I am actively participating in my story.  But I am a story junkie--so I probably am not ever going to consume less stories via TV and movies.  I LOVE movies.  I LOVE the visual aspect of a story coming to life.  This is one I'm not going to worry about--nor am I going to put on my list again.  Instead I'm just gonna be ok with it!


Time to begin brainstorming next year's list!!  What did you accomplish from your list this year?  What things would you want on your list for next year?

2018 Idea List

Welcome 2018!!  I like lists, especially crossing off things from my list.  I don't particularly care for New Year's Resolutions nor am I a fan of "goals".  But lists--are doable for me.  I know, I know--aren't they all basically the same thing?  Probably.  Resolutions or goals feel like I'm setting myself up for failure.  However an "Idea" seems less threatening.  Thus, here is my 2018 Idea List.  These are things that I thought might be fun to do this year and they would help me in my desire to become more comfortable blogging.  So without further ado, here is my list:

1.  Read 24 books. More specifically I would like to read 2 books a month.  I usually go through spurts of reading where I read several books within a few weeks and then go two months without reading anything.  By the end of 2018 I would like to have finished 2 books a month and read at a steady pace.  I have a running list at Goodreads so that I can easily choose something of interest.

2. Spend more time with friends. This idea is rather vague I know, but I struggle to get together with friends on a regular basis.  So my idea is to put this at the forefront of my mind this year and be intentional about coming up with ideas and calling people and getting together.  Last year on my Idea list (I have done this for awhile--just haven't posted it publicly) was to say "yes" whenever I got invited to hang out with someone.  That worked out well to touch base with people and I know it meant a lot to me when someone would go out of their way to say "hey let's spend time together".  So this year I want to do more inviting. 

3.  Host at least 4 Game Nights.  I love to play games!  It's so much fun and an easy way to spend time with people.  So my idea is to host at least 4 Game Nights, get some snacks and enjoy some time with other people. 

4.   Host 4 dinner parties.  Nothing fancy.  But just have a few people over for dinner, enjoy a meal together and each other's company. 

5.  Try 12 new recipes.

6.  Happiness Jar.  A friend on facebook posted about a Happiness Jar where everyday for a year you write down one good thing that happened and put it in the jar.  At the end of the year you read all the good things that happened.  I LOVE the idea.  So it's an idea that is happening.

7.  Blog at least 12 posts.  Ahhh... I love reading other people's blogs.  I love sharing ideas.  I love writing.  However, I really don't love criticism, nor do I love when I screw up and say something stupid--and then when it's written down, well it's rough.   But I do want to share more of myself with the world at large and also to gain insight from the feedback of others--so I will start with the idea of blogging at least once a month about something.

8.  Go to the Beach.  Toes in the sand.  A book.  The sound of the water.  I don't know what beach or when or with whom.  But at least a day at the beach this year.

9.  Spend less time online and watching TV/movies.  Alas I love a good story.  I also can be incredibly lazy with my free time.  Instead of watching other people's stories, I want to be an active participant in my own story.


Ok so that's the end of my list for now, however I may come back and add to it as the year progresses.  If you're interested in the game nights, dinner party, or hanging out--let me know!! 

Here's to 2018!! 

"For Real": Grief

My mom died.  I have said that out loud to myself several times a day for the past several days because it doesn't seem real.  I will probably continue to say it to myself for the next few weeks, maybe even years.  I don't know.

Grief has been a wild ride.  It has taken me by surprise.  I'm a planner by nature, I'm pretty sure it's in my DNA right next to my hair and eye color.  Grief doesn't have time or respect for my plans.  It overwhelms you at unexpected moments.  Washing your hair?  It's a good time for grief to hit. Ordering food in a restaurant?  Perfect.  How about when you are all alone?  Or when you are surrounded by people?  Yep..that works too.  Middle of the night?  Sure!

I was arrogant and naive when it came to grief.  I thought since my mom's health had been failing for the last 4 years and that the different conditions she suffered from were all things that modern medicine cannot "fix", I thought my practical brain was prepared.  It's coming.  Mom is going to leave this life and go on to the next.  Honestly?  I even asked that God would end her suffering and take her home.  Death is part of life.  It's the natural order.  It's all very logical, practical, understandable.   Such arrogance.  Naivete.

Just because you know it's coming.  Just because you've "planned" and prepared for the event, grief spares no one.  You cannot slide through it.  You just have to walk through it, embrace it, feel it.  There are no shortcuts.  No easy route.  And it's different for each person and now having my eyes opened, I have a feeling it will be different for each person you lose.  

I have no words of wisdom.  I'm still processing.  But I believe life is about sharing our stories with others, so while the emotions are raw and real and before I overthink it, I thought I would share.

And because I'm practical and a planner I thought I'd also share the things that were most helpful this week:

1.  Prayer.  Please never underestimate the power of prayer.  I know there were people praying for me all this week because I felt them.  Because as overwhelmed as I was, I was able to make decisions, be there for family, and move through the grief process without despairing.  So if you were one of those people who prayed, I can never thank you enough.

2.  Food.  Food is helpful to a grieving person because although it seems like a small decision to make--"what are we going to eat?" becomes one more decision that seems impossible when you are going through something like this.  Practically speaking-- the best foods are quick, can easily be reheated, and if possible--favorites of the family.  Other ideas when it comes to food to keep in mind: disposable containers, disposable plates/utensils etc, contacting other friends to coordinate efforts so there isn't too much food (is that a real thing? haha), and obviously dietary restrictions.

3.  Presence.  If left to my own devices I would have told all of my friends to stay away.  Because that is how I am.  I would have thought I wanted to be alone.  But luckily, my friends dropped by to drop off food and made themselves available if I wanted them to stay.  And crazy enough?  I did want them to stay.  I just needed them for a little while to share the story of what I just went through, what I was going to have to go through.  There was nothing for them to say or do--they just listened.  But I needed that. So offer your presence to your closest friends, but be ready for that presence to be rejected and take the rejection without insult and try again at another time.  

4.  Sympathy.  Social media is so great for this very thing.  It takes just a few seconds to acknowledge someone's thoughts and give them validation that what they said was "heard".  And what I love most about social media is that you can respond when you have the time and the person who receives it reads it at the time it's convenient for them!  What a blessing in our crazy busy world!  I appreciate everyone who took the time to simply say "sorry for your loss".  There is nothing more you can say, but you validate the fact that I posted I was hurting, you heard it, and responded to it.  

So thank you friends for loving on me in these various ways this week.  You are loved and appreciated.  And in answer to the question "what do I need?"  I don't know what I need to continue this process.  The things I know I "need" are not things that are tangible for others to give me--for life to go back to "normal", for my heart not to hurt, to not burst out crying at random times, sleep, for it to "all be better".   So I just ask that you would pray and ask God what He thinks I need and then be obedient.  Some days it may be "give her space" or it may be "send her a note" or "drop by and just give her a hug".  Because what I need will probably change day to day and He has proven this week to know what I need even better than me!